This is why I’m not allowed out in public.

Our refrigerator up and stopped working the other day.  I came home, settled in on the couch, Buddy curled up on me and I heard a “click.”

Hmm?  What’s that, Buddy?  Did you hear it?  Buddy was mute.

I moved on, changing channels, trying to get interested in a book about the George W. Bush presidency, and keeping Buddy from piercing my body with his claws.


What on earth was that noise?  Buddy’s ears twitched, so I know he heard it.  Since he was firmly ensconced on my lap, I couldn’t look for what the problem was.  I tried to ignore it.


Only I couldn’t.  It happened again.


My mother came into the living room, and I asked her what that clicking was.  I can’t hear any clicking, she said.  That’s because there is none right now.  Wait for it.

I still don’t hear it.  Again, it’s not . . wait, there it is.  I don’t hear anything.  You didn’t hear that?  No, she said, looking at me as though I had finally lost what was left of my mind.

After 5 frustrating minutes (how could she not hear that?), I got Buddy off my lap, and went into the kitchen to see what the noise was.  After another exchange in which I heard the noise and she didn’t, I finally figured out what the sound was (and she finally heard the noise too).  It was coming from the refrigerator.

That pinned down, I was able to get back to the important TV show I was watching (Person of Interest, next to last episode ever), and move on with my life.

The refrigerator got more insistent, CLICKing more and more frequently.

By the time I went to bed, I smelled burning element.  If you’ve never smelled a heating element burning before, you haven’t lived.  It smells something like hair burning.  Or if you’ve ever had something boiling on the stove and forgot about it, that’s the smell.

I feared the house would burn down.

So naturally I went to bed, not unplugging said refrigerator.

Fast forward, and I went out and bought a new fridge.  I got it today, the day after I bought it (can’t beat next day delivery).

The delivery guys came by this afternoon.  I went out to meet them because it seemed that they had missed the house.  One guy waved at me, and came over.

So you’re delivering the refrigerator today? he asked.  I looked at him and shook my head.

No, said I, you’re delivering the refrigerator, I’m getting a refrigerator today.

Ookay, we’re delivering your refrigerator today.  Sign here.

Yes, I’m a pedant.

And that’s why I’m not allowed out in public.


About flatpickingjd

Just your average, liberal vegetarian redneck. Yes, I'm a liberal. Proudly so. I see nothing wrong with that and wear that label with pride. Yes, I'm a vegetarian. I used to be fat, very fat. Then I started taking care of myself, lost a bunch of weight and found it easier to keep that weight off by not eating meat. Or cheese. Or eggs. Or any good stuff. Man, I miss pizza. And, yes, I'm a redneck. I like camping and fishing, listen to bluegrass music and live (from time to time) in the south(west). So, yup, I'm just your average, liberal vegetarian redneck. Serious details about me: I make my living as a lawyer. My practice focus is business law, but I've dabbled in other areas including personal injury, family law, real estate, and water law. I also hold three master's degrees with plans to earn a doctorate. I hope you enjoy your time here, and feel free to comment!
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