Our refrigerator up and stopped working the other day. I came home, settled in on the couch, Buddy curled up on me and I heard a “click.”
Hmm? What’s that, Buddy? Did you hear it? Buddy was mute.
I moved on, changing channels, trying to get interested in a book about the George W. Bush presidency, and keeping Buddy from piercing my body with his claws.
What on earth was that noise? Buddy’s ears twitched, so I know he heard it. Since he was firmly ensconced on my lap, I couldn’t look for what the problem was. I tried to ignore it.
Only I couldn’t. It happened again.
My mother came into the living room, and I asked her what that clicking was. I can’t hear any clicking, she said. That’s because there is none right now. Wait for it.
I still don’t hear it. Again, it’s not . . wait, there it is. I don’t hear anything. You didn’t hear that? No, she said, looking at me as though I had finally lost what was left of my mind.
After 5 frustrating minutes (how could she not hear that?), I got Buddy off my lap, and went into the kitchen to see what the noise was. After another exchange in which I heard the noise and she didn’t, I finally figured out what the sound was (and she finally heard the noise too). It was coming from the refrigerator.
That pinned down, I was able to get back to the important TV show I was watching (Person of Interest, next to last episode ever), and move on with my life.
The refrigerator got more insistent, CLICKing more and more frequently.
By the time I went to bed, I smelled burning element. If you’ve never smelled a heating element burning before, you haven’t lived. It smells something like hair burning. Or if you’ve ever had something boiling on the stove and forgot about it, that’s the smell.
I feared the house would burn down.
So naturally I went to bed, not unplugging said refrigerator.
Fast forward, and I went out and bought a new fridge. I got it today, the day after I bought it (can’t beat next day delivery).
The delivery guys came by this afternoon. I went out to meet them because it seemed that they had missed the house. One guy waved at me, and came over.
So you’re delivering the refrigerator today? he asked. I looked at him and shook my head.
No, said I, you’re delivering the refrigerator, I’m getting a refrigerator today.
Ookay, we’re delivering your refrigerator today. Sign here.
Yes, I’m a pedant.
And that’s why I’m not allowed out in public.